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theonion:

Distant Planet Terrified It Might Be Able To Someday Support Human Life
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NORFOLK, VA In an alarming case that has baffled and repulsed many, sources confirmed Tuesday that a severely deformed freak born without a penis has managed to live with the condition for over 26 years.

"Sadly, because the deformity is so obvious, our child was treated very differently from all the other kids," the father told reporters, admitting that he was incredibly upset and disappointed when he first learned that his baby would be born a freak, one to be mistreated and viewed as inferior its whole life. "Even though the doctors explained all the incredible challenges and prejudice the poor thing would face, I don’t think it really sunk in until after the birth, when I saw the disfigurement with my own eyes. You never want your child to have to grow up that way."
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I have some very complicated and mixed feelings about Pride Parades, but this archived article from The Onion does pretty nicely for my more cynical feelings.

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Sorry I’m not sorry I’ve been laughing about this for the last 10 minutes
thepoliticalpartygirl:

And right next door, the GOP is building a Death Penalty Theme Park. Criminals can meet their maker and Shocky The Electric Chair. Fun for the whole family!
(via Literally Unbelievable)

Sorry I’m not sorry I’ve been laughing about this for the last 10 minutes

thepoliticalpartygirl:

And right next door, the GOP is building a Death Penalty Theme Park. Criminals can meet their maker and Shocky The Electric Chair. Fun for the whole family!

(via Literally Unbelievable)

(Source: politicalpartygirl)

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mattpayton:

Budget Mix-Up Provides Nation’s Schools With Enough Money To Properly Educate Students - The Onion
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hotterthangeorgiaasphalt:

The total Starbucks whoredom of this series aside, The Clientele covering “Paper Planes” definitely gives me a boner.