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cheatsheet:

On Wednesday night CNN’s John King asked all four GOP candidates to define themselves with one word. Yesterday we asked our Facebook fans to do the same thing, and then we made pretty word clouds with their responses.
Can you guess which candidate got the responses above? 

Sorry I’m not sorry for finding this absolutely hilarious

cheatsheet:

On Wednesday night CNN’s John King asked all four GOP candidates to define themselves with one word. Yesterday we asked our Facebook fans to do the same thing, and then we made pretty word clouds with their responses.

Can you guess which candidate got the responses above? 

Sorry I’m not sorry for finding this absolutely hilarious

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Did the GOP forget they were campaigning to win an election, and not for Craziest Rich White Dude?

Let’s not fool ourselves, country. Mitt Romney really was the only one who had any chance of wooing that all-important “Independent Voters” caucus, and the GOP has been forcing him to take increasingly extreme views on EVERYTHING, effectively making ALL of their candidates currently wooing only the most extreme conservatives.

I, and the rest of the world, thank you for shooting yourself in the foot.

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needtherapy:

shankcrank:

octorokcockblock:





I don’t think you understand how much I think about gay sex

i’m pretty sure i think about gay sex more than you rick

get out rick you will not win this battle
you cannot even begin to comprehend how much I think about gay sex

     #i’m mostly just laughing that rick santorum apparently just admitted to thinking about gay sex all the time #do you read slash fanfic and fap angrily at the boner you hate yourself for getting rick #it’s okay rick #your slash ships are valid #don’t hate yourself for finding them sexy


Rick Santorum, do you even know me?

Rick I don’t…um…..Rick….Rick…..Rick….

How much I hate all those writhing, sweaty bodies pounding…wait…what was I saying again?

needtherapy:

shankcrank:

octorokcockblock:

I don’t think you understand how much I think about gay sex

i’m pretty sure i think about gay sex more than you rick

get out rick you will not win this battle

you cannot even begin to comprehend how much I think about gay sex

#i’m mostly just laughing that rick santorum apparently just admitted to thinking about gay sex all the time #do you read slash fanfic and fap angrily at the boner you hate yourself for getting rick #it’s okay rick #your slash ships are valid #don’t hate yourself for finding them sexy

Rick Santorum, do you even know me?

Rick I don’t…um…..Rick….Rick…..Rick….

How much I hate all those writhing, sweaty bodies pounding…wait…what was I saying again?

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cognitivedissonance:

seriouslyamerica:

Just saw this posted on Facebook - quality crossover.

BOOM

cognitivedissonance:

seriouslyamerica:

Just saw this posted on Facebook - quality crossover.

BOOM

(via motherjones)

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absurdlakefront:

corycorybobory:

Oklahoma Senator Proposes Making It Illegal For Men To Ejaculate Except Into A Woman’s Sexual Organs
Life imitating art aka Legally Blonde:

Don’t worry, she’s joking. But she’s joking to make a really good point.
The controversial Senate Bill 1433, which is one of the “personhood laws” cropping up in conservative states is seeking to define life as begining at conception, and that “the unborn child at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state.”
That makes it really hard to get an abortion.
Perhaps inspired by the Virgina State senator who proposed a mandatory rectal exam for men looking to recieve erectile dysfunction drugs, if women had to have an ultrasound to receive an abortion,  Oklahoma Senator Constance Johnson– our new hero – added an “Every Sperm Is Sacred” amendment claiming that:
Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.
High five, lady.


Satirical law is fun.

absurdlakefront:

corycorybobory:

Oklahoma Senator Proposes Making It Illegal For Men To Ejaculate Except Into A Woman’s Sexual Organs

Life imitating art aka Legally Blonde:

Don’t worry, she’s joking. But she’s joking to make a really good point.

The controversial Senate Bill 1433, which is one of the “personhood laws” cropping up in conservative states is seeking to define life as begining at conception, and that “the unborn child at every stage of development (has) all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state.”

That makes it really hard to get an abortion.

Perhaps inspired by the Virgina State senator who proposed a mandatory rectal exam for men looking to recieve erectile dysfunction drugs, if women had to have an ultrasound to receive an abortion,  Oklahoma Senator Constance Johnson– our new hero – added an “Every Sperm Is Sacred” amendment claiming that:

Any action in which a man ejaculates or otherwise deposits semen anywhere but in a woman’s vagina shall be interpreted and construed as an action against an unborn child.

High five, lady.

Satirical law is fun.

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bastardfromabasket:

Someone should make a fake Rick Santorum account and have him find a time machine and make tweets about the different periods he visits.
“12/06/1865: An amendment was passed today abolishing slavery. Half of the country just had their property stripped from them. As president I will work to protect a citizen’s right to pursuit of property.”
“8/18/1920: Today, half of the population had their rights stripped away to be shared with WOMEN. As president I will work to protect the rights of men.”
“7/4/1776: Declaration of Independence signed today! Snuck a picture when no one was looking.
“

bastardfromabasket:

Someone should make a fake Rick Santorum account and have him find a time machine and make tweets about the different periods he visits.

“12/06/1865: An amendment was passed today abolishing slavery. Half of the country just had their property stripped from them. As president I will work to protect a citizen’s right to pursuit of property.”

“8/18/1920: Today, half of the population had their rights stripped away to be shared with WOMEN. As president I will work to protect the rights of men.”

“7/4/1776: Declaration of Independence signed today! Snuck a picture when no one was looking.

(Source: noon, via phazes)

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Sorry I’m not sorry I’ve been laughing about this for the last 10 minutes
thepoliticalpartygirl:

And right next door, the GOP is building a Death Penalty Theme Park. Criminals can meet their maker and Shocky The Electric Chair. Fun for the whole family!
(via Literally Unbelievable)

Sorry I’m not sorry I’ve been laughing about this for the last 10 minutes

thepoliticalpartygirl:

And right next door, the GOP is building a Death Penalty Theme Park. Criminals can meet their maker and Shocky The Electric Chair. Fun for the whole family!

(via Literally Unbelievable)

(Source: politicalpartygirl)

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thegreg:

communismkills:

Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone.

If a Republican is…

Between the broad, sweeping generalizations and condescending rhetoric of the above post, I should probably just roll my eyes and pass on by. But the very fact that the final point purposefully attempts to quell or silence any sort of response is ludicrous.

So I went ahead and made some changes about the Democrats. Because I am one and I can only speak for myself. I wouldn’t try to categorize an entire political ideology of a hundred million people into a one sentence generalization. Anyway, here goes…

Republican doesn’t like guns, he doesn’t buy one.

If a Democrat doesn’t like guns, he wants all guns outlawed sold responsibly to responsible owners. After all, the reason he doesn’t “like” guns is because he understands that there are over 12,000 gun related homicides every single year in America, and it is our responsibility to make sure that we implement laws to assure that guns end up in the hands of responsible owners, and out of the hands of criminals.

If a Republican is a vegetarian, he doesn’t eat meat.

If a Democrat is a vegetarian, he wants all meat products banned for everyone. it is because he has seen the horrific conditions that animals must live in before they are lead to slaughter. He also understands the health risks that come along with the pesticides and steroids used in meat production. In response, he makes a personal sacrifice that fulfills his own morals, and because it is something he feels passionate about, makes use of his free time to educate others to improve the conditions of these animals and promote healthier food for the masses.

If a Republican is homosexual, he quietly leads his life.

If a Democrat is homosexual, he demands legislated respect. Because he doesn’t wish to be treated like a second class citizen his whole life. Because he wants the lives of future homosexuals to be better than his. Because he wants protection from being beaten to death, and spit on, and harassed. Because even if he doesn’t get respect, he deserves respect, and will fight to earn it. Because where would we be if the founding fathers and Martin Luther King and Susan B. Anthony had just decided to “quietly lead their lives?”

If a Republican is down-and-out, he thinks about how to better his situation.

A Democrat wonders who is going to take care of him. knows that life is unfair. And sometimes our neighbors need help, and that it is our duty as Americans to take care of our own. So he is willing to pay extra taxes to help the government support those who are in the most need. Because he understands that one day he might be there too. And he’s not stupid, he knows that people take advantage of the system. But he also knows that caring and feeding the poorest families in the nation is worth it.

If a Republican doesn’t like a talk show host, he switches channels.

Democrats demand that those they don’t like be shut down. be responsible with their words. They will exercise their first amendment right of free speech to boycott hateful or damaging commentary. They will try to correct misinformation because they understand that media needs to be responsible and balanced to keep people informed of what is truly going on in the world.

If a Republican is a non-believer, he doesn’t go to church.

A Democrat non-believer wants any mention of God and religion silenced… within government and our laws. A Democrat supports the founding fathers in that whole “separation of church and state” thing. They also support a person’s right to believe in whatever fulfills them spiritually and morally. They simply maintain that a person’s individual religious beliefs should not dictate the laws of people who believe differently.

If a Republican decides he needs health care, he goes about shopping for it, or may choose a job that provides it.

A Democrat demands that the rest of us pay for his. passes a law that requires insurance companies to not refuse medical treatment because of pre-existing conditions. A Democrat passes a law that everyone should be granted access to affordable healthcare and that as the greatest country in the world, we should not have people dying because we refuse to care for them. Contrary to popular belief, Democrats also realize that there are flaws in the current healthcare law that need to be improved upon immediately, but that we should not take a step back and repeal something that has taken the first step towards revitalizing and improving the health insurance fiasco in our nation.

If a Republican reads this, he’ll hit “reblog” to forward it so his friends can have a good laugh.

A Democrat will post a nasty response calling all Republicans racist and homophobic, because his PC Radar is “offended.” take time to write a reasonable response to help the Republican understand that maybe we shouldn’t be laughing at political discourse in this country, but working to make it better. A Democrat believes that we should try harder to see a person and not a political ideology. A Democrat believes in compassion, and hope, and moving our country forward. Because a Democrat loves America, but understands that it is not perfect. It can be better. We can be better. And it starts with ending nonsense like this.

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motherjones:

This happens a lot.

I like to think Obama’s hanging on to a framed copy of this

motherjones:

This happens a lot.

I like to think Obama’s hanging on to a framed copy of this

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So apparently Gingrich’s daughters are denying this whole “open marriage” business…

Are that many people really having these kinds of discussions in front of their children?

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"Why is it that when Republicans and Democrats need to solve the budget and the deficit, there’s deadlock, but when Hollywood lobbyists pay them $94 million dollars to write legislation, people from both sides of the aisle line up to co-sponsor it?"

— Alexis Ohanian, Founder of Reddit

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"I asked him if he’s elected, how does he plan to engage gay Americans. How are we to support him? And he told me to support Obama."

Scott Arnold, an associate professor of writing at William Penn University on asking Newt Gingrich how he plans to engage gay Americans in Iowa.

Finally, some advice from Newt that makes sense.

(via absurdlakefront)

(via absurdlakefront)

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apsies:

neon-loneliness:

with thanks/apologies to apsies :)

YES!

(Source: doesntlivehereanymore)

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daveholmes:

I mean SERIOUSLY. Given a choice between: 1) supporting an entirely uncontroversial speech that decried the state-sponsored KILLING AND IMPRISONMENT OF INNOCENT PEOPLE FOR THEIR REAL OR PERCEIVED SEXUAL ORIENTATION (which of course no GOP presidential hopeful would dare, because it was Hillary Clinton doing the speechifying and all of these people are children), or  2) saying nothing, Rick Perry went to his tool shed and BUILT door number three, which is OPENLY SYMPATHIZING WITH THE PEOPLE WHO KILL AND IMPRISON INNOCENT PEOPLE FOR THEIR REAL OR PERCEIVED SEXUAL ORIENTATION, and then opened the fuck out of it in about 9 seconds.
Rick Perry said: “There is ground to be gained in this race for THE PRESIDENCY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA by presenting myself as someone who OPENLY SYMPATHIZES WITH THE PEOPLE WHO KILL AND IMPRISON INNOCENT PEOPLE FOR THEIR REAL OR PERCEIVED SEXUAL ORIENTATION, so I’d better hurry up and grab that spot.” And maybe not figuratively!
Man oh man. I am not prone to statements such as these, but: Rick Perry, you are a baboon. And any conservative who thinks gay people should be ALLOWED TO REMAIN ALIVE- to say nothing of actual gay conservative groups like Log Cabin and GOProud, whose silence is the loudest thing I’ve ever heard and I have seen My Bloody Valentine live- y’all better start speaking up RIGHT NOW.
RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

daveholmes:

I mean SERIOUSLY. Given a choice between:
1) supporting an entirely uncontroversial speech that decried the state-sponsored KILLING AND IMPRISONMENT OF INNOCENT PEOPLE FOR THEIR REAL OR PERCEIVED SEXUAL ORIENTATION (which of course no GOP presidential hopeful would dare, because it was Hillary Clinton doing the speechifying and all of these people are children), or
2) saying nothing,
Rick Perry went to his tool shed and BUILT door number three, which is OPENLY SYMPATHIZING WITH THE PEOPLE WHO KILL AND IMPRISON INNOCENT PEOPLE FOR THEIR REAL OR PERCEIVED SEXUAL ORIENTATION, and then opened the fuck out of it in about 9 seconds.

Rick Perry said: “There is ground to be gained in this race for THE PRESIDENCY OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA by presenting myself as someone who OPENLY SYMPATHIZES WITH THE PEOPLE WHO KILL AND IMPRISON INNOCENT PEOPLE FOR THEIR REAL OR PERCEIVED SEXUAL ORIENTATION, so I’d better hurry up and grab that spot.” And maybe not figuratively!

Man oh man. I am not prone to statements such as these, but: Rick Perry, you are a baboon. And any conservative who thinks gay people should be ALLOWED TO REMAIN ALIVE- to say nothing of actual gay conservative groups like Log Cabin and GOProud, whose silence is the loudest thing I’ve ever heard and I have seen My Bloody Valentine live- y’all better start speaking up RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

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rising:

Michele Bachmann - Not Born That Way (Lady Gaga Parody)